Everybody is making fun of Serbia, and Serbia is making fun of itself

Milorad Vučelić, editor in chief

Everybody is making fun of Serbia, but to make the things worse Serbia is making fun of itself. It’s far from easy spitting on oneself every single day without any permanent damage. Serbia today, concerning state, economy and culture actually lives the final stage of realization of Titoist project. We only need to dig up some enemy corporal from the 90’s conflicts, and make a Serbian marshal and Bob’s yer uncle. If the title of marshal was to miss him, a medal or two sure wouldn’t. How divine it would be that Serbia didn’t have all this pesky, daring, tough, courageous and smart, and extraordinarily shrewd politicians. How much we could use now someone who is not in their prime. Someone like Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin who, is obviously going through middle age crisis as Tomislav Nikolić says so insightfully and prudently. Truth be told, there are other faults or character flaws to Putin, as my high school buddy and friend Mašan Purov ironically said, he is somewhat narrow/hermetic – only Russia, Russia, always with that Russia, no trace of that certain broad depth where the principal position, the position of the paragon would be for instance Confucius and Constantine, lately very much settling as a model for thought and civilization. The prevailing motto is: as much distance temporally and geographically we make from ourselves we have a better comprehension of our own history and people. In that way we might sometimes come to Saint Sava and Njegoš.

And the Premiere of Serbia is a proof that nobody but the very top of the power tree knows the Serbian people and it’s Church, confirming its diagnose about moral madness and God that was killed for it a long time ago. Heavy brawl, broken bloody heads, knife stabs and all, he recognizes a “traditional Serbian quarrel among friends”. Following in his footsteps professor Jovo Bakić, a permanent hero of the column “Stupidarium”, using yet unknown method drew up, from this standpoint and criticism, a conclusion that religious education should be banned from schools.

Dačić also have great expectations from bishop Amfilohije that has been unfulfilled:” It was more likely for a bishop Amfilohije  to do a liturgy for the soon to be departed government of Montenegro, after its recognition of Kosovo, but he did not. “It was really bad manners and unfair from the bishop to let off easy the foreign – Montenegrian, and for the same thing severely condemn home, Serbian heads of state. This untamable politician, without an equal in any time and space, sets a, multitude of tasks before bishops and Patriarch – to constantly pray for him. He is not aware of the fact that all the prayers for his sensibleness stayed unanswered for a long time now, and that there is no real address to direct them to. Anyways, why would he need God and all the patron saints of Serbia, when he was as he likes to say (in his own words) elected by “the Serbia of this Earth”? And it was no less fifteen percent of earthlings living on this geographical longitude and latitude that was once Serbia.

Our politicians are constantly saying “that Serbia does not need more wars”, yet they are waging an all-out war with the Serbian church. Not one day has passed these past few months that there wasn’t an accusation from the front pages screaming bloody murder, about some pontiff or bishop. Even Patriarch Irinej was accused of facilitating “ a monopoly on church business of selling candles, crosses, robes, censers”, for his friend and associate, as if the whole thing was about the boss of the Yellow cartel Dragan Djilas and his friends and best men that equip and dress the Communal police.

Petar Petrović Njegoš the Second, that should be proclaimed a saint, suddenly becomes a ”womanizer” and to make things worse, people whose place is not with Mirko Djordjević and Živica Tucić, are getting mixed up in these stories, due to their carelessness and thoughtlessness . Based on the new fresh insights, it is becoming clear why the state of Serbia do not have a committee for the celebration of the 200 anniversary of Njegoš, nor any kind of program for this jubilee. No such committee, but the committee for smearing the name of bishop Rad is packed.

Agenda is being dictated to the synod of SOC, and among the church dignitaries there are insiders and those who gained a status of protected witness from the state and media.  To put it in plain words there is no end to the accusations against the Church. Every single day one or two bishops undergo a beating of tabloids or some other newspaper. Government and media in Serbia with all the foreign and local owners are on extreme open rampage against the Serbian Orthodox Church. Obscenities that appeared 22nd of May in the daily newspapers cannot be mentioned, for the reasons of common decency, and anyway it will be surpassed bz the worse the very next day.

There was no such regime in our memory that harassed the Serbian Orthodox Church in this way as the current regime in Serbia and its controlled media. We are left to hope that during this year’s Synod in May our religious dignitaries will understand this and act responsibly.

A vivid synopsis of that story can be read on the front page of our oldest daily magazine: “Derby between heavenly and secular Serbia”! Illustrative newspaper’s headline says “Serbia stands with its people “and nobody finds it strange as it was expected to be different, or it is different? Official Serbia seems to be able to make do more and more without its people, but it still looks like it won’t be like that to the end.

The more the Germans are better friends with us, the more we reset our relations with Americans, the more Vojvodina is turning into a separate state, and the constitution is a growing lie more and more, the more Kosovo is independent, the more second Serbian champions are talking louder through the mouths of ruling politicians, the farther are the public criticism, Russia and orthodoxy. This craze cannot die out, not until the last Serbian or any of his formation is disarmed, actually and spiritually. The more false and real bombs we discover on the streets, the less we observe and spot that in the very foundations of Serbia a devastating explosive is in a state off metastases.

In the matter of the derby game between “Partizan” and “Crvena zvezda” (1:0), it is virtually impossible to find out that the winning goal was really by the football player Milos Jojić. Why? Because the in the focus of media, were, by the will of their own or the will of somebody else, those who were not even in the teams (Kokeza i Ružić) that were playing, nor they were their trainers. What provoke this kind of attention and what actually led to the situation that the real players in the field are not important? And all of it bare a deafening resemblance to everything else that happened to us? To really get to the bottom of this, we would have to borrow in to the matter in a profoundly Confucian way.

Recession has enchained Europe in the West, they say, and “Eurozone had the worst results recorded from the time of its foundation”. Unlike these Serbia, as it is well known, and plain to see everywhere you turn, exited the recession and with million and fifty thousand unemployed has a very successful government. Also, Serbia has a very successful minister of health, but probably for that reason in Serbia at the moment there is a shortage of no less than 70 of basic medications. You can’t beat the recession and have all the necessary medications, at the same time. There are no pharmaceutical medicaments, and there is a strong possibility that there won’t be any, but the word is out that the Codex Alimentarius was signed in secrecy , as one of the conditions for the “the date”. The production of honey, herbal preparations and tinctures is to be forbidden. There is no cure for us, so it seems! No sanction can be that hard the ones we are capable of imposing on ourselves, in the pursuit for “the date” from EU! (By all means read to self and others, and tell it in own words – the text by Billjana Djorovicć “The Hells angels are living among us” in this issue of “Pečat”).

We would have delayed the printing this issue of our newspaper, if we could of. We would inform our readers about what Vladimir Putin the president of Russia had to say to our state top at Sochi. We didn’t do it because there is no one from the top of the political hierarchy that wants to hear his messages, much less understand it. Putin also realized it, surely, that it is all in vain. And why in the world should any of our power lords listen to a man stricken by the “middle age crisis”?

Someone might hold against us the fact that we don’t have more thorough information and analysis about implementing Brussels agreement, on the line Thaci – Dačić, a through EU and Cathy Ashton Kucher, as one of our journalist calls her. (Read the text by Nikola Vrzić “Kosovo for a signal” in this issue of “Pečat”).

It is possible that the closing of this issue of yours and our weekly magazine, could of be delayed, but there is nothing to wait for in Brussels. All the waiting that could have been done was done to 19th of April when “We do(Yes we will)” was said, and everything that will come to be is well known and can be found in an old folk poem “Mrs. Hen went to the market”. The poem was sent to me by already mentioned Mašan Purov who, since his retirement became all the more active and zealous associate:


Mrs. Hen went to the market,

Tripped and slipped and made a racket,

And so angry although guilty

Noticed that her leg was filthy.


She approached a bush to ask

For a favor, frivolous task.

Forth stepped Hen, the prima donna:

“Clean my leg!”

“I don’t wanna.”


“Just you wait, little bush”,

Mrs. Hen went for a push,

“I will make you sad and sorry

When goat finds you bit savory

Here comes goat, let’s see if it’s gonna:

Eat this bush!”

“I don’t wanna.”


“Just you wait, little goat,

Let’s see if you still can gloat

(And you can’t, I have a proof)

When presented to the wolf!”

Hence comes wolf all pinched and gaunt:

“Eat this goat!”

“No, I won’t.”


“Little wolf, just you wait,

I will use you as a bait

For the people you’ve been daunting

To see if they’ll come back haunting.

There’s a village, better pray.

Kill this wolf, folks!”



“Just you wait, little village,

Let’s grapple before you’re pillaged,

Means are grave when the need is dire,

So succumb, or face the fire!”

There came fire, flash and flaunt:

“Burn this village!”

“No, I won’t.”


“Just you wait, little fire,

I’ll find someone for the hire

to present you as a fodder.

All I need is some fresh water.

Here comes water, we’ll make a sauna:

Put this flame out!”

“I don’t wanna.”


“Just you wait, little water,

Although you cannot be slaughtered,

There’s a way to make you shrink.

I’ll turn you into horse’s drink.

Here he comes, on a jaunt:

Drink this water!”

“No, I won’t.”

And the real Brussels ending follows. First the all too familiar saddle (yoke) emerged, and then a mouse which after so many “no” brings in a modernistic novelty and says – “yes”:


“Just you wait, little horse,

Yet I’ll pull you by the nose.

Let’s see if you will straggle

With your back tied to a saddle.

Up comes saddle, hear my taunt:

Scrape this horse!”

“No, I won’t.”


“Just you wait, little saddle,

I may have lost every battle

But my heart, cold as ice,

Will win this war helped by mice.

Come here, little mouse, have a feel:

Bite these straps!”

“Oh, yes, I will!”


So the mouse nibbled the saddle

The saddle scraped the horse

The horse drinked some water

The water used it’s force

The fire burned the village

The wolf hid from the men

And growled at goat

Who ate the bush

And guess what happened then


The bush did clean Hen’s leg

Thoroughly on target


And finally, without ado,

Mrs. Hen went to the market

Pečat No. 269, 24.05.2013.

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